A non-issue for some
Would Roshi take you back? Probably.
Dealing with the pressure
No matter what There is room for you
Ideas if you love Roshi and are working your way
(back into love)
This page is to be in support of the people who love Eido Shimano Roshi. Because of a cross-cultural barrier, many people may feel bullied in hiding their love for him, in being quiet in their defense of him. What are we, except babies brainwashed at birth.No 1. hope.
Ask Shakyamuni Buddha, Nyogen Senzaki, Master Joshu, Master Rinzai or any other Buddha you feel an affinity for to help you. They are the master of medicine. There is not a mental prison they can’t get you out of.No 2.
This book “Jesus lived in India” (book). It helps to know more about the beliefs that are making you you. That did it for me, it lessened the pressure of the current bible as the justification for having me live in a coffin that is too small. Just a small window of how the early Christian church was, the political fight for what would become the “word of God”No.4
So you are not supposed to love him, they say, but this is not the first time you have found a work around is it…. Here is a list of things you are not supposed to do at all but that are pretty common in AmericaLying even white lies
Extra marital sex
glutony, envy, over eating
Coveting other people’s spouses...
You, oh wise one, made your own deal with God, after all, who will comfort you when you are down (not them), when the lights are out and you are all alone in your skin (do you care what they think?)
Why it was a non-issue for me: sex as not so different then a cup of tea
I love and respect Roshi. I don't think he would ever hurt anyone. The scandal was not an issue for me and the reasons I offer to help others might seem rude or disrespectful but they are not in my heart. I think one lifetime is not enough to fully appreciate the treasures to be had with Roshi's wife, Aiho-san, so why would he stray. Also, doing 10 or so zen retreats a year are not one of the easiest ways to get laid. Also, how long does sex last, 10-20 minutes, this whole conspiracy theory of Roshi being an evil lecher, we would have to have a sangha of the most beautiful women on earth trained in all the nuances of sexual congress, and still, that would not be enought motivation to lead the life of a monk or a Roshi.
I had a lot of dress rehearsal. Many men I have loved since infancy have been accused of infidelity and with strict Catholic upbringing, I wanted to toss them to the nogood pile. But then it happened again and again and again and I realised this belief in fidelity was setting us up to be tormented looking for something that does not exist.The wisdom of my mother: She said
men don't change
When I heard of the first scandal, I did not know if it was true. I wanted to continue being Roshi's student even if it was true. And if it was true, things would not change because "men don't change". If they smoke, drink, party, overspend when you meet them (take it or leave it)The bible is the word of God but squewed by the custom of the times
All this scandal is our attitude toward sex and religion and the attitude of the people about sex 2,000 years ago.Way to a man's heart is thru his stoomach, so bake
This whole quest to master the activity of a man's penis, turns people into beings with no dignity. A whole decade of fidelity and trust to be destroyed based on a moment of 10 minutes. Act out to attract and keep this elusive and inexisting thing, the man on a sexual leash.
When a man says he loves you at 10am, he means it so does he when he says it to some other girl at noon
All this to get to where Samantha in Sex and the city got in the episode where she runs up 10 or so flights of stairs with a diamond thong torturing her to find out if the man of her dream is cheating on her and she realises she can never be sure. She can't have her happiness depend on someone else not doing something.
Oprah once asked a roomful of divorced women (that left cheating husbands) if they would do it again and the number with the hands up was low.
This obcession with no-sex. Some might say it is responsible for the AIDS epidemic in Africa. Missionaries went and with their one wife motto, 2nd and 3rd wives became prostitutes, their kids raised in poverty. It's not that I think polygamy is it, just that applying a sexual model that goes against nature and forcing it on others is dangerous and self-detrimental.
Also, I guess people can grow tired of hearing of the mistakes of their past, but they still exist, what happened when the Puritans left the persecution in Europe, (whisper) genocide, slavery. Wouldn't you rather have a clergy and a sangha in a frank sexual conversation whatever it might be?
When I heard of the first scandal I was relieved, It confirmed for me that this might be a safe place. Some cult had recently committed massive suicide and practiced castration. I just thougth they don't want to deal with real life, with their bodies. If those rumors are true, there is no such problem around the Sangha at Shobo-ji.
I guess this kind of thinking is pretty common outside of America. One Sangha member from Latin America asked me if they had hung Roshi too! Sometimes it helps to know your thinking is not the center of the universe.
Would Roshi take you back? Probably.
He never stopped caring. You can ask say Nyogen Senzaki or Master Rinzai to come with you the first time you see him after you said or thought terrible things about him.
Roshi is the master of circumstances and can steer you even after anything. If you need inspiration, to build the fight, "You say, I am an apple, I should never have associated with likes of you bananas!", to make up you say "I was so harsh and rude, bananas are pretty nice and afterall we are all just fruits." (using my big fat greek wedding movie line)
Ideas on dealing with the pressure
Could you be free?
Somewhile back, some scientific article said people think of themselves 99% of the time. I used to have a huge afro and was ridiculed in high school. noise, noise, noise. one day, I did some maintream hairdo and 1 person noticed.
take away... 99% of the time people think of "me, my dog, my bills" the 1% probably is "my kid's bill" or maybe "that guy". 1% and it is to say something negative. It's not sad, it means you are free to do what you want. If people want to rule your life as to who you can love, they need to give you more than 1% of their thinking time!
There is room for you
Someone did something and now, you love Roshi, What to do? 1. Ask a Buddha or Boddhissatva for help (ex. Kanzeon, Kukai). That should be enough. 2. Recognize, that they might hurt you again but it's worth it. Who wants peace, prepares war. (proverb) Where they looking for your inner warrior or your inner bitch? well, they found it! By push or shove, somehow, you found Roshi and you will not loose him. Most likely result, polite tolerance for each other.
With great gratitude to Eido Roshi.
This is written without his consent, approval or knowledge.